Invest in each other: A strategic approach for success as a couple

Invest in each other: A strategic approach for success as a couple

If you’re part of a couple then guess who will have the biggest impact on your life and your success? Yep, it’s your partner/spouse. 
Despite that, it’s easy to go for years without sitting down and thinking through your individual and shared goals. Here are some questions to help you and your partner start thinking about your goals. These should spark some conversations and hopefully bring clarity for you both. I encourage you to take an hour and talk through them. Think of this as a mini C-suite strategy retreat for you and your partner to plan the next phase of your lives. 
A good place to start is your values. What are the things that each of you value most? What do you love about your life together right now? What are the biggest sources of frustration? If you could craft a life together that you both love, what would it look like? What things are important to you about where you live? What things are most important to you about how you work? What are the most important things to you about your relationship? For each of these questions, see if you can come up with the top 3-4 things that are most important to each of you.
Next, think about your individual goals. Where do you want to be in 5 years: Geographically, relationally, and financially? What do you want to be spending more time on or less time on five years from now? A good approach is to first take some time individually to think through these questions. You can download my free eBook here to use as a tool for guided reflection.
Then look at your goals together. Where is there overlap and where do your goals conflict, such as one of you wants to stay where you are and the other wants to move to another state? What will it take for each of you to accomplish your goals? Where will you have synergy and where will you each need to compromise? What are the most important things to each of you that will allow you to reach agreement?
To gauge the importance of decisions that you differ on, rate how much you each care about it from 1-10. If the decision is very important to one person and the other person doesn’t care one way or another, then you can probably let the person who cares more make the decision, rather than spend hours debating it. If you both care a lot, then the decision will take more work and thought.
Next, how can you each support each other in your goals? What can you take off your plates individually, if necessary, to make room for the other person’s goals? This might mean negotiating who watches the kids on different nights, when you each go to the gym, how much work travel you do, or whether you decide to cut down to part-time for a season.Approach the process with curiosity and openness!

“Love is not affectionate feeling, but a steady wish for the loved person’s ultimate good as far as it can be obtained.” – C.S. Lewis

If you want a jump start on this process to help set you up for success, then couples coaching is a great option. 
I got the idea for couples coaching from an executive business school student. She had signed up for a coaching session and asked if her husband could join her. As we worked together it was clear that coaching them together was a powerful way to not only help her but help them together. It was a case where working together was more than twice as effective as working with each of them separately. Inspired by her great idea, I built a couples coaching program that includes both individual coaching and coaching together. During the seven-week process, you’ll set individual and joint goals, and keep track of your progress together.
During February, use the code VALENTINE for 20% off of the couples coaching program. This is a chance to invest in each other and your relationship.

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